Dating for Shy People

Shyness can be quite an attractive quality, and often it does not show when the conversation is confined to an online dating service. But when dating someone new in person, shyness can unfortunately come across as offhandedness or a lack of interest. As a result, shy people can sometimes have trouble making the type of connections with dating partners which they would hope for.

However, there are a number of simple techniques which you can use if you are shy to break the ice and make sure you don't miss out on relationships. If you are a member of a dating service then these tips will help you move the conversation from online to outdoors.

Ask questions

If you are shy, one of the best ways to give an impression of confidence is to show an interest in the other person by asking questions. Not only will this take the focus off you - creating a more comfortable environment if you are not keen on talking about yourself straight away - it will also put your dating partner at ease.

In general, people are delighted to talk about themselves when they know someone is interested, and this will shine through in their response. Asking open questions is one way to create an interesting conversation. An open question is one designed to receive a longer answer, for example by asking about their feelings or opinions on a subject - anything which might cause them to think and reflect, as opposed to closed questions which only tend to require shorter answers.

Practice all the time

With dating, as in any social situation, being timid can hold you back from enjoying making a connection with another human being. If you want to overcome your shyness when dating, therefore, it can be helpful to practice making brief conversation with people on a daily basis.

Perhaps you would usually smile and nod when a person you don't know chats to you in a queue or on a bus. Instead, make the effort to briefly connect to people with your own comments or a warm response of some kind. It may seem like inconsequential small talk, but by taking steps like this in your everyday life, you will realise there is nothing so scary about talking to new people. This will make it much easier to be yourself on a date, as well.

Don't worry

Shyness often stems from the fear of how people will respond to us if we say or do the wrong thing. As a member of a dating service, there is time to consider every message you send and make sure there aren't any mistakes, and translating this thought-through process to dating in person, where mistakes will be made, can be a little frightening. But it's important to remember that most people are more concerned about how their own behaviour is coming across than they are about yours.

Taking the focus of your energies away from yourself is vital if you really want to get to know someone, so stop worrying about your own behaviour and concentrate on making your dating partner comfortable and happy, and simply have a good time together.